


we'll do whatever it takes to stay alive

by mydrunkjoey



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Borussia Dortmund, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kagakreutz, M/M, this ship runs my life now ngl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 05:44:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3197576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mydrunkjoey/pseuds/mydrunkjoey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kevin hadn't known about the earthquake until much later. It had been two days before the charity match was decided on, when he read about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we'll do whatever it takes to stay alive

       Kevin hadn't known about the earthquake until much later. It had been two days before the charity match was decided on, when he read about it.

 

       He sent Shinji a message a few minutes after regaining composure, after swallowing the fear and nerves that rang through his chest. Kevin knew that Shinji had to be safe, he wasn't near the affected regions, nor was the preparations for disaster lacking in Japan. But still, two minutes in, and Kevin had almost choked on his breath.

 

       Shinji's replies were short, but they were still replies, and Kevin, though already desperate to have Shinji back in his arms, to kiss that cheeky grin, to slide fingers over tanned skin, grew more so. Except, he would've exchanged all of that, if it meant providing Shinji a moment-- or better, an eternity of moments, to heal. The days up until Shinji and his team actually depart for Duisburg, were hellish. (Though sympathy tells Kevin to be thankful for his health, safety, and support.)

 

       His heart leaps out of his chest, reminiscent of the way Shinji had kissed him the first time, meek and tentative across Kevin's sofa, when he sees Shinji. It takes every ounce of energy (which is a horrible, horrible, unprofessional thing, that with the match in an hour) to keep himself from pulling Shinji in. They smile at each other however, and it leaves a knot in his stomach that refuses to untangle.

 

       Shinji actually plays with a toothy smile on his face, laughs a lot, and midway through, Kevin's convinced that football solves everything. The audience cheers, goals are scored, and Shinji's smiling. Kevin steals a hug midway, fingers lingering on the small of Shinji's back as the match resumes-- and for once, Kevin almost doesn't want to play.

 

       He remembers thinking that Shinji's smile is the most beautiful thing he's seen all day. The way the crowd pulls Shinji in, chants his name, waves his flag, and Shinji lights up, leaves Kevin almost torn. It's a given that Shinji is easy to love, everyone, friend, foe, footballer, or audience, of the team alike, can agree to that. Which makes it rather exhausting for Kevin, having to work harder than everyone combined, in order to pull the widest smile, and the most genuine laugh. Shinji consistently reassures him with Japanese words, he now understood, after a lot of searching.

 

       Kevin catches Shinji in the hallway after the match, and both teams exchange heartfelt words. Mats, Neven, Ciro, Milos-- essentially everyone, greets Shinji as well, before the air is clear. Before they're alone.

 

       He taps his pursed lips, and raises a brow. Shinji already understands quite a few words, and it isn't hard to teach him a word like 'kiss,' but Kevin taps it again. The gesture speaks just as loud, and Shinji chuckles. At first, he feels as if he's been rejected, because Shinji doesn't make any effort to come closer, but then Shinji is gripping his wrist and tugging him towards a storage room. Kevin grins to himself.

 

       The room is cramped, but Kevin likes having Shinji close-- as he'd stated in his head multiple times before. Although in his mind, the romantic atmosphere is alive and well, Shinji hesitates, eyes going soft and fragile.

 

       And Kevin remembers that they're here, in this tight space, because of an earthquake. A natural disaster that sent many areas of Shinji's country and home, into ruin. It hits Kevin like a train, and he almost breaks when he sees Shinji do just that.

 

       Shinji tries to build another wall, rubs at the wetness on his cheeks, and swallows back a sob. Kevin feels his chest burn, the need to see Shinji smile again, increasing with every unexpecting tear. But before he can hold off the next wave of shaky breathing, Kevin wraps his arms around Shinji. His fingers dig into the fabric of Shinji's jersey, and presses his nose by Shinji's cheek. Every single wall crumbles.

 

       The kiss is salty. It's evidently drenched in sorrow and fear, but Kevin kisses affection, adoration, admiration, sympathy, and hope into him. Shinji's knobbly fingers fumble with the neck of Kevin's shirt, and there's a sweet little moan that spills in between them.

 

       If possible, Kevin thinks that he'd like to kiss Shinji forever. And with the way Shinji flicks his tongue, and rubs the tip of it across Kevin's teeth, tells him that it's double-sided. Alas, forever is something they are not, and the schedules make it painful to pull away. (Because there's nothing more important than the way Shinji holds onto his arm.) Shinji smiles though, eyes peering up and cheeks visibly pinked. It's the sort of sight that leaves Kevin breathless.

 

       Shinji tells him that he'll call, in the best broken German he can manage, and Kevin drops a peck as agreement. He tells Shinji to remember that there're always others around to help, though he doesn't know if Shinji understands. But again, he smiles, so Kevin decides that it's okay.

 

       Parting ways, and leaving Shinji in a state, hopefully better than before, though still understandably vulnerable, is tough. In fact, “tough” is an understatement. Kevin battles the tug in his chest when he sees Shinji off at the airport. Battles the desire to kiss him before he leaves. Battles the fear that sits in him like poison, tainting him with 'what-ifs'. He shakes it all off and waves Shinji off with a smile.

 

       He thinks about how they won't live forever. Chances are, they won't last romantically as long as he'd like either, because society is unaccepting, and family is oddly enough, more so. Chances are, even if they last, there will be an audience out there desperate to watch them fall.

 

       But Shinji smiles at him, taps his own lips, and Kevin decides to take his chances.

 

**Author's Note:**

> first of all, this fic is set during the 2011 charity match bvb had with team japan.  
> (http://www.goal.com/en/news/14/asia/2011/05/18/2491724/borussia-dortmund-win-charity-match-against-team-japan) and if you want to look for the video where shinji's being cheered on and such, it's on youtube! the hug mid-match is also a true thing. \ / 
> 
> but details aside, i'd really like to thank all of you who read and comment and leave kudos on my works. it's so so so flattering to be on the receiving end of such kind acts, and please never be afraid to flail stuff at me!!  
> thank you to all of you! (next on my fic writing list will most likely be my kagakreutz series chp 2, and samisut + schweinski one shots.)
> 
> xo


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